Ah, these little life challenges. What to do when someone shoots poison at you? I don’t mean they’re literally shooting poison at you, like on the tips of arrows or something like that. I just mean, you’re walking down the street and someone looks at you and out of nowhere, yells “UGLY!” at the top of their lungs. This actually happened to me, but I thought it was hilarious so maybe that’s not the best example.
How about this- when someone whose opinion you care about says something mean or thoughtless to you. You get a feeling in the pit of your stomach like poison seeping in. What do you do? I think our first instinct is to pretend it doesn’t bother us. Be tough! Yeah, whatever. It is much more ‘tough’ to admit to your feelings so that you can deal with them and move on.
So that’s step #1- Admit to yourself that they got to you.
Step #2 is- Think about what lesson you can take from this experience in moving forward. There are teachers all around us. It is up to us to learn the lesson and make our lives better as a result.
Step #3 is- Think carefully about how you want to respond. Resist the urge to be reactive. When people respond immediately to those poisonous darts, or reactively, it is all emotion and no brain. Do yourself a favor and take the extra time to figure out how to respond in a way you can be proud of and use to move forward.
The last life challenge I was in where I felt that poison being thrown my way was an email from someone whose opinion I cared about. It was someone I wanted to work with. My first instinct was to yell at her for being a short sighted dumbass. I thought about it, though. Decided that was not my best move after all (go figure). And even if I didn’t work with her ever again, I wanted to end on a positive note. So I replied to the email with 2 sentences that simply stated I would get done what she requested. As a result I received another much nicer email, and we ended on a positive note.
Keep in mind when dealing with life’s curveballs- life is 10% what happens to you, and the other 90% is how you behave regarding what happens to you. You will feel happier, not to mention empowered if you take a proactive approach to dealing with these kinds of life challenges.
Live long and prosper!!!
Your Wellness Coach,