First of all, let me say that “FAT” is a loaded word. It means different things
to different people and has a pile of emotions behind those 3 little letters. I
have respectfully put it in “quotations” because of this.
I’m not emotionally attached to the word, so I want to be careful with its use.
At the same time, I want to share my experience. I have never been fat in my
life, but I’m pretty sure I’m in the category right now. It’s true that I am 9.75
months pregnant as I write this, and you could argue that this is why I think
I am “fat”. But I’m pretty sure I qualify. You see, I’ve gained about 60 pounds.
The baby is currently more than 8lbs (BIG BABY!), so how about those other 5o
something pounds?
So, for perspective, we’ll go to these facts and leave the “F” word out of it.
When I got pregnant, I weighed 128 pounds. As of last Friday, I weighed
187 lbs. That’s a BIG difference! I have even grown out of some of my maternity
clothes! These are just facts. I’ll tell you what I’ve learned…
I’ve learned that it is MUCH harder to move with the extra weight. I had this
concept in my head before now, but until you actually experience it, it is just
a concept. I understand now why overweight people have a hard time getting
started with working out. It is HARD to move! You just have so much extra
bulk and gravity makes that stuff heavy and uncomfortable. I get it now. If
you decide you’d like to run, you will most likely hurt your joints. You’ve got
to start slow and steady, which can be frustrating. Especially with body weight
exercises.
I still do my tricep dips, but they are HARD! I have SUPER strong triceps! I can no
longer do a reasonable push up- meaning I cannot go all the way down and
come back up. Lunges and squats are more difficult as well. Don’t even get
me started on pull ups. Those are challenging to do even if you weigh a buckOfive!
My muscles are very strong because I kept up the working out as I was gaining weight,
but I can see how fast that could go downhill. And I can definitely see how it
would be frustrating to get started.
I also realize from this experience that it is more important to me to be strong
than it is for me to be thin. I value my strength and agility very highly. I love
that I can still do my 15 lb bicep curls & overhead presses. 2 months ago a trainer
in the gym asked me if he could get me lighter weights. The 15’s ARE lighter
weights, and I thought it was a stupid thing for him to say, but I just said “No thanks”.
I love that I can still teach my classes. It is harder, like I said, but a lot of that has
to do with my belly being ginormous and hard to get around than all the other weight.
My traps have overtaken my neck because of all the boob and belly weight. I
don’t love the way that looks. And my face is chubby. I don’t love that either.
My ass was big before, but it has its own moons now. There is cellulite on my
legs and I’ve never seen that before. I don’t love that. Oh, and my inner thighs
touch. Now, that’s just weird. I can’t imagine ever getting used to that sensation.
Definitely do NOT love that!
But what I do love is the chance to experience these changes and this perspective.
I guess for me I think it’s temporary so it doesn’t bother me. I don’t think it has to
be permanent for anyone, but of course people who weigh more than they want to
weigh for most of their lives don’t see any options. I see options!! I see the power I
have to change it if I want to! Why?
Because I know how this happened! I ate a LOT!! I ate healthy food, I ate shitty food. I ate
pizza all over nyc because I’m moving to jersey and I don’t like the pizza there so
for some reason I stocked up! In my first trimester, I was so nauseous that all I could eat
was bread. And I had to keep eating it in order to be NOT nauseous. I don’t even eat much
bread in ‘real life’. I don’t like what this country has done with our wheat supply ( All GMO- but
that’s another blog…). Basically, I ate a LOT of food!! And I knew what would happen.
And it happened. And I am still strong and still ‘fit’ and still agile. You can workout all
you want and still be “FAT”. Sorry, but it’s the truth. It’s what you eat as well.
I am certain that when this baby comes out (I am guessing it will be in the next few days)
that I will still be fat. And a week later, I will still be fat. But, I’ll tell you what. I am just not
attached to this fatness, so I’ll be letting it go within a few months of the baby’s arrival.
I love the lessons I learned. I love knowing that I value my strength more than being thin.
I love having had the experience of being a substantial woman! I am LARGE and IN CHARGE!
And I know what to do to let it go. There are ALWAYS options. If you don’t think there are
options, then reply to this post. Reply anyway. I want to know what you think.
In any case, I’ll be letting this extra stuff go in the near future and you are welcome to join me…
Love & Encouragement to YOU!
Your “FAT” Fitness Coach,
Miranda Zukowski
Last time I saw you (was it really only 2 weeks ago?) you did not look “fat” at all, just very very pregnant. Once you’re out here in the boonies and ready to shuck the baby weight, let me know. I’ll be more than happy to struggle along with you. It’s time to get this slightly mature woman back to fit and agile status! We can even set some destination goals so you can find that perfect pizza here in NJ.
Hi Sue,
Thanks!! Yes, we can go on this journey together! I will definitely let you know when I get started. Doc says to wait another 4 weeks. So that means the kickoff will be right in time for New Years. And I’d love to find the perfect pizza in NJ!!
You are beautiful! Always.
Thank you!! And YOU continue to amaze me with your creativity and thoughtfulness, my dear friend 🙂
I have struggled with my weight my whole life and have worked hard to stay fit. I was at my thinnest AND fittest before I got pregnant. I gained 50 lbs with the twins and lost 30 by 6 weeks postpartum. No matter how thin I’ve been, my thighs have always touched, but I noticed the same thing you mentioned: it’s hard to move when you’re very heavy! That said, I recently weighed myself and I’m 20 lbs heavier than I was 6 weeks postpartum. What happened?!? Well, I’ll tell you what happened: twin infants, occasional sleep, hormone fluctuations with nursing, poor eating choices because of lack of stamina to make anything good for myself. I think seeing that actual number (which I’ve never put credence in when smaller…) woke me up to the balance I need to find as a mom. I’ve been eating more like my pre-pregnancy self and making time for exercise every day and the differences have been slow to come, but apparent nonetheless. I can’t wait to see/hear how you’re faring in a few months because I imagine since fitness is your biz, you’ll be more motivated, and that can help to motivate people like me. This fat has been more difficult to lose than any I’ve lost before, but it’s worth being in shape not only for me, but for my kids, too. Good luck, Miranda! Keep us posted!!
Hey Kelly,
Sounds like you are well aware of where you are at and where you want to go! Now to fill that gap with what is needed to get you there. As for me, I am already itching to get started on this whole weight loss program, BUT I am taking my time and respecting where I am at and what my job is at the moment (taking care of this tiny person!). Doc says ‘no exercise for 6 weeks’, which then makes me wonder what his definition of ‘exercise’ is… But I will follow the advice and not do anything for another 4 weeks (my baby is 2 weeks old today!) I will be sure to get in touch with you when I figure out what I’m going to do.
Hi Miranda!!
First of all, Congratulations!!! I’m so happy for you!
Secondly, thank you for sharing your experiences and your fitness level. A few years ago, just around the time we saw one another in NYC, I was dancing and in the best shape of my life. Midsummer I had a knee injury and breast cancer scare and stopped everything good and began to get back to old habits and have since tacked on 20 lbs. I’ve been working out and have been aware of what I’m eating, but not necessarily eliminating things that don’t serve me. My thighs, once again rub together and I feel fit, but “FAT”.
I have been working out with my trainer and will do yoga and pilates for the next week. I am inspired by your post and will get back on track with my eating. Especially now, in the midst of the holiday hustle and bustle, and will make smarter choices. I have been getting my sleep this past week and it makes such a tremendous difference. I’ll be following you and thinking of you, cheering you on!! While I know it’s difficult to focus on you, please do your best to continue to get the sleep you need. It will serve you as a mommy and in losing those 50 extra pounds. Love and support!!! (Say, how about we meet in NYC next spring for a slice and to show off our fabulous bodies?)
Hi Vicki,
You sure were ‘smokin’ when I saw you last! I can’t imagine you taking the downturn that you are describing here. I am just
about to start my weight loss journey, having hit the 6 week mark since I gave birth. Are you back on track with your eating
as you mentioned in this post? Let me know how it’s going, and I’d love to meet up with you in the spring!!
Hey Miranda! Congratulations again on your “tiny” person! I just read your recent blog and decided to go back and check-out some other posts that I may have missed. I have to say this really hit home. I appreciate your honest description of what it is like to carry extra weight. Since having 3 kids and gaining a considerable amount of weight with each pregnancy (and never losing it in between each birth) I live every day with the challenge of mobility. As wonderful as the reason for your gaining the extra pounds (baby and NYC pizza), this is a wonderful opportunity for you to reach out to this audience. I can say from experience, I have had personal trainers…really! no lie! :o)and the reason I quit was because “they just didn’t get me and why I can’t physically perform an exercise; or that I hurt a lot the next day and I am not using it as an excuse.” I know eating right and exercise are essential to good health. I would LOVE to know what you are going to do with this experience. Thanks for sharing your story!
Hey Lisa,
So glad you got something out of this! I am honestly not completely certain how I will lose the weight, but I do know that I will.
I also know that I will start off slow and be nice to myself, which I suggest you do as well. I’m going to share everything I do along
the way, so please join me if you find it helpful.