Hi there and happy day! It’s a gorgeous day in New Jersey and I had a great workout this morning at the Equinox in Summit where I am currently teaching classes. I ran into my manager while I was walking over to the elliptical machine and she said I looked great! I said “Thank you very much, I FEEL great!” Then we went on to discuss our pre-baby bodies and compare with our post-baby bodies. We both came to the conclusion that we like the changes that have taken place. What a fantastic revelation! I am happy in my skin!
I am surprised and happy to have come to this realization. How many people are happy in their skin? Not a whole heckuva lot. So why am I? I am not perfect, and there is wear & tear from the pregnancy. I WORKED for that pregnancy and am PROUD of the wear & tear. I also gained an extra 30 pounds (on top of the ‘other’ 30 pounds) during my pregnancy. At no point during all of this did I hate my body. I can’t imagine why so many people hate their bodies so much. I was fascinated by it, sure. Even astounded (haha). I got BIG! I was one of those women who was nauseous when I wasn’t eating. So I ate. A lot. I still taught my classes and walked all over the city. I wore my hair in pigtails and had cute maternity clothes. Sure it got hard to move at the very end of the pregnancy, but I taught up until my due date.
So WHY then? If so many women hate & criticize their bodies, and I was walking around with WAY more, um, mass on my bones than most of them, why did I not hate my body? You could say that it was because I was pregnant- but I gave credit for that first 30 pounds. What about that extra 30lb bonus? I still liked me.
I don’t think it’s rocket science. I think it’s mind set. No, I know it’s mind set. If you hate yourself and you want any sort of quality of life, you must change your mind. Unless you don’t want to, in which case go right along hating yourself and have fun with that. But if you’re tired of feeling like flabby blah, then just try this out. What can it hurt? It won’t make you hate you even more than you already do.
Here is what I am suggesting. Decide how you want to FEEL as opposed to how you want to LOOK. Most women think that losing weight is going to make them happy. Hmmm. I’ve seen plenty of thin women still hating themselves and thinking they need to lose weight. So go for the FEELING- what is it? Decide that first. Then decide what small simple step you can take towards giving yourself that feeling. It could be going out dancing, buying yourself flowers, joining a class, bowling, tennis, pottery, taking a nap, writing, meditating, calling a friend. Whatever you want. Figure out the feeling you are going for and then follow through on that one simple thing you can do to get that feeling. Do one little thing for yourself every day. If you say “but I don’t have time!”, then listen to a song you like on your ipod. You have time. We all have 24 hours in a day. Get creative.
I’m not saying do this instead of taking care of your body. By all means take care of your body! Do the ‘feeling’ exercise AND take care of yourself. Eat clean & healthy, get your exercise. But do it out of LOVE for yourself instead of as a punishment!! If you take nothing else from this post- take this point! Take care of yourself out of LOVE!
I’ll close with this- when I spoke to my manager this morning, I acknowledged that I am still 10lbs over my goal weight. I’ve lost 50 of the 60. I like the way I look with the extra 10. I will like myself without it, too. I would be ok if there were still 20lbs. I am doing this because I think it is fun and because it is an exercise in discipline to get the extra 10lbs off. Oh, and don’t get me wrong- I want my clothes to fit, too! I will do this, and then I will share with you how I did it. But only if you promise to be nice to YOU!
If you want to follow along with my journey, then I have a gift for you. It’s called “9 Steps to Permanent Weight Loss” and it’s a free audio that I created for you. You can pick it up at www.mirzukfitness.com on the right side of the page.
Your Fitness Coach,
What a fabulous piece you wrote! It is a brilliant way to convey a lifesaving and life changing
way to accept and be good to oneself!
Miranda, you have faithfully lived and continually live your life in an inspiring (to me) and all the many
people you have touched.
You are a cheerleader not a Pollyanna. You never give up and never give up on others’ ability to live a better life. You are a life giving person and I feel so lucky to be cared for by you.
With great appreciation and gratitude for your friendship.
Thank you, Judith!! I am also truly grateful that you are in my life!
Great insight, Miranda!
I weight about 165 in 2007, and I thought I was fat. When I look back on those pictures I think, “OMG! I was so hot! And I didn’t even realize it!”
It made me realize that my perceptions of myself are completely warped. I really appreciate the advice to focus on how I FEEL instead of how I LOOK. 🙂
PJ Van Hulle
Real Prosperity, Inc.
“Have Fun. Do Good. Make Money.”
Me too – this is a powerful statement I use use with my clients all the time : Decide how you want to FEEL as opposed to how you want to LOOK! I love that you use it too!